Being the child of teachers, I put a high value on education. Traditional American public schooling inculcates the concept that there is a "right" answer to most questions. I bought into this part and parcel, I wanted to be right all the time. I was that kid. The one who always had his hand up or who was shouting out the answer while the teacher was patiently trying to draw it out of other students. "Can someone - other than Donovan - answer the question?"A lot, perhaps an unhealthy amount, of my sense of self-worth is wrapped up in my successes as a student. What I'm realizing is that the qualities that made me a good student at times make me a less than great person to be around. I get trapped in the binary implied by rightness: If I'm right, someone else must be wrong. If something is wrong, it must be corrected.
A few examples from my life:
The Trigger: A teacher mispronounces or uses a word incorrectly.
My Response: After verifying my correctness using a google search on my phone, through furrowed brow I ask "Did you mean ________?"
The Trigger: A director is setting up for a shot, that makes no rational sense to me.
My Response: "Does this violate the 180 degree rule?"
The Trigger: As a child I was in a spelling be and the word "shop" came up.
My Response: It was all I could do not to spell the word "shoppe". I envisioned the scene where the judge would tell me I was wrong, but I would then retort "Ah, but I am also correct, it is the Old English spelling go look it up!"
Some days I convince myself this is a form of altruism - No one likes being wrong, I'm only helping them to be right. But really what I'm doing is calling into question their capability - often in front of others.
When I'm really crafty, I tell myself I'm asking because I want to be sure that I'm right. When all I really do is establish myself as a snoot.
Well folks, this is profoundly disrespectful. I'm working to bite my tongue. If I don't, I know this sort of behavior will one day come to bite me in the ass.
How does this relate to acting? Well the lesson of the day is this:
Acting should be my only focus on set, I'm not to question anyone else's judgement. It is not my place to do so. In those instances where I'm questioning whether someone else knows what they're doing, I'm probably wrong about the issue and I'm wasting energy that could be spent improving my job performance.
Oh and never say "I told you so" to a loved one. If you feel the impulse, focus a little more on loving them and a little less on being right.
