How To Be Okay With Not Doing Everything

You want to do the following:

• Be great at your craft
• Be there for all of your friends in their time of need
• Be spontaneous and fun
• Earn a good living
• Own a home
• Stay up to date on all the current news
• Walk the dog
• Act
• Dance
• Sing
• Play the Ukulele
• Always be understanding
• Sleep 8+ hours a day
• Eat Right
• Exercise Regularly
• Read the great books
• Write a novel
• Inspire students
• Leave the world a better place
• Be a good girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife
• See theater
• Travel
• Be a good parent

It seems like it's possible. So you're trying to do it all right now... and you're failing miserably.

The thing is, you don't have to do it all right now. Life is long enough that you'll get to take a solid crack at most of those things on your list.

An Anecdote:

For her entire adult life, my paternal grandmother talked about wanting to read books for pleasure. But as a wife, mother, small-business-owner, association president, and caring friend she'd find herself too tired at the end of the day to do anything other than turn on the TV as she fell asleep.

A couple years ago, she moved from an assisted living community to a nursing home. Her husband and most of her friends were dead. Her children were grown and her grandchildren were scattered about the country. She was in a very dark place and I was afraid we were losing her.

Some time, a few months back my father gave her a book, "Chicken Soup For The Soul." For want of company and anything else to do, she began to read. A few days later, she asked for more books.

When I visit her now, her chest-of-drawers overflows with books. Dozens, most of them she's read twice or more ("Chicken Soup" and "Marley & Me" are among her favorites). Despite her surroundings she has reclaimed her joie de vivre.

So don't beat yourself up for giving up the rock band for the picket fence. Right now other things are probably more important. But who knows, you might get a second shot, this could be you someday...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZ4SIe5rVUM

Jennifer Coolidge told me not to sit on my ass.

The Groundlings

My family loves "The Groundlings" theater in Hollywood on Melrose. The Groundlings list of alumni reads like a regular who's who in comedy: Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan, Janeane Garofalo, and Pat Morita (say what?!) to name a few. This has led many people, including my father, to believe that making it into The Groundlings company is the key to "making it". This has led to the school having 2yr waiting lists to get into some of their classes. Things have cooled down a little since that absurd peak was reached, but the school still requires that you audition to take their beginning classes! Well, I auditioned a week ago, and passed the test. I've been waitlisted for the current term, and will be able to enroll in the next session if I beat other actors to the Groundlings school website.

Jennifer Coolidge Q&A
My dad heard that actor Jennifer Coolidge was participating in a Q&A and he offered to buy me a ticket to the event. As a lover of all things free, and not one to turn down an evening with a busty blonde, I accepted his offer. Ms. Coolidge is far more intelligent and good-looking than most of her film roles would lead you to suspect. The Q&A was a very entertaining and informative two hours where she described her experiences at the Groundlings, working in feature films, and her desire to do just about any project so long as it is paid.

Going Outside
At one point Coolidge said "Cool things happen when you're not sitting around your house with your dog. Go out, even if you don't have the money to drink." I took that note to heart, and instead of retiring to a meal of easy-mac at Chez Donovan I drove over to a vegan restaurant a few blocks from my house that I'd never tried. The food was great and cheap. Towards the end of my meal, I got a call from my sister. I of course couldn't wait to tell her about Jennifer Coolidge describing her as "You know… Stiffler's Mom from American Pie." After I said goodbye to my sister, I went to use the restroom. As I returned to my seat, who did I see sitting in a table just across the room from mine, but: Jennifer Coolidge. I had just had a phone conversation about the woman completely oblivious to the fact that she was 15 feet away from me the whole time.

I spent the next five minutes paying my tab and hemming and hawing about whether I should thank her for an excellent Q&A. I opted to just walk back to my car – she seemed fairly involved in a bowl of soup and I'm chickenshit.

Notes from the Q&A
The following are some of the more cogent points from the evening:

• The terrible jobs you have are the best sources for sketches.
  
• You don't actually get paid when you're a Groundlings company member (ugh!)
  
• Perhaps trying to prove my father right, she said "Everything good in my career came from The Groundlings. If it weren't for them, I'd still be waiting tables."
  
• With one-line auditions, go in there and make a strong impression. Be unique, everyone is giving them the same flat read.
  
• TV shows fire actors more than ever, they're trying to make up for bad writing with good casting.
  
• Modeling is the most brutal, the music industry is cut-throat, but the absolute weirdest behavior happens in the film/tv industry.
  
• Stay away from people at auditions, other actors play dirty tricks and you don't want to get thrown off your game.
  
• Don't get passive with your career once things start going your way. Work even harder.
  
• Building a relationship with a Casting Director is important to the point that you should take crappy jobs. Hooker #3 led Coolidge to American Pie and Legally Blonde.
  
• Go into auditions as your character – CDs are just too tired to be imaginative about this stuff.
  
• The comedy world is much smaller than drama – you've got a better shot of making it in comedy.
  
• In improv, anyone can steal your part. Take it back with some over the top reactions of statements like "You sure talk a lot."
  
• Girls from Texas get cast because they know how to use hair rollers; go into the audition looking the part.
  
• Most Importantly: create your own projects. No one else will.

One of the major themes of her discussion was the dearth of good roles available to comic actresses. This is certainly something that lends itself to further discussion.

Acting Class Update & My Nightmare

I’ve been in Richard Seyd’s acting class for about 6 weeks now and have been benefiting tremendously. I’m much more emotionally available in my work, am able to believe given circumstances more fully, and most importantly: I’m pushing less (see my previous post about my Hammy Tendencies for why this is important). In fact, tonight, I didn’t push at all. This is to say, I was completely taken by the scene. It felt really, really good.

But this is not evidence of my acting brilliance so much as it is evidence of Richard’s keen ability to select “stretch scenes” that will emotionally resonate with the actors he assigns them to. Tonight, my character was in a situation wherein he had to choose between having a family and having an acting career. Scary. After the scene was over, I very quickly pushed my own concerns about this issue back into denial mode. I've still got years until that becomes a conundrum that I'm willing to entertain.

*whistles* and *twiddles thumbs*.