Another Day, Another Crisis

It probably doesn't help that I have a cold, but I've been feeling out of sorts for the last few days. Anyone trapped on a desert isle with me would quickly discover that I have a penchant for regular existential crises. I go through fits of feeling like I'm on the top of the world, I know what I want, I'm going after it and everything is brilliant. Then there are weeks where it's all I can do to live vicariously through "24"s Jack Bauer for days at a stretch.

My friend Prince cold comforted me by saying, "it's okay: this crisis you're having, when you get older, it NEVER ends."

This time at least, I think I can source it: I haven't had a creative outlet in two weeks. My ongoing acting class has ended, and likely won't start back up until after the holidays, and my writing partner and I are currently on break.

I feel stuck. Woefully, listlessly, hilariously stuck.

I'm led to believe there are some people who don't have these crises, or at least have the courtesy not to jabber on about them in a grossly public forum. Another friend cold comforted me, saying "this is the artist's life."

When actors sleep, do they dream they're accountants?

Parting thought: Perhaps my life is closer to Jack Bauer's than I previously thought. About once a year he lives through a 24hr terrorist crisis. About once a month I live through a 1wk existential crisis. Jack Baur meet Donovan Dour.

Acting with your full self

How is it non-actors can often turn in more interesting film/tv performances than trained actors? Simply because they have no choice but to be a complete human being: themselves.

Actors get so tripped up in playing a character and a situation that they only bring a limited part of themselves to a role and ignore what is actually happening in favor of what they think should be happening.

If you are auditioning for the part of a beat detective it's very tempting to try and recreate what you think a TV cop should be. You act tough, become humorless, and and lose about 80% of your capacity for empathy. What this fails to acknowledge is: if you wanted to be a cop in real life, you probably could have been.

There are all sorts of personalities in every profession. Lead with the part of yourself the role calls for, but don't forget that the other parts of you still exist and should be present in your work

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Also I want to plug Margie Haber Studio. I just finished their month-long intermediate cold-reading intensive and I am feeling so much more confident in my work. The around the world project taught me how to stop acting, but it wasn't until I took this workshop that I had permission to be human again. I can't recommend it highly enough.

3 Years in Los Angeles: Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

Before I moved to LA I asked every SF actor I knew who had attempted the "LA thing" for their advice. There seemed to be a general consensus that I was unlikely to see any traction until I'd been in LA at least three years. With that in mind, and knowing I'm just the sort of "cryin' ass little bitch" who would leave after just one year, I made a commitment to myself:

No matter how bad it gets. No matter how much I hate it. I have to stay in LA at least 3 years.

Today, August 1st 2010, marks my 3-year anniversary with the City of Angels. The question is: should I stay, or should I go?

To help myself answer that question, I have taken myself out on a date. I've imagined this date many times since arriving in LA. I imagined white table cloths, candles, fine silver, maybe a glass of wine or some sipping scotch. I would ruminate, then masticate, then ruminate some more. I would scratch my chin, and say "Hmmm..." in the delightful manner of esteemed intellectuals. I would order dessert and coffee. I would finish my last bite of tiramisu, sip my last sip, tip generously, and as I stood I would drop my napkin on the table. At the moment of impact, extraneous thought would leave my mind and all that would remain would be a stunning sense of clarity about acting, life, the universe, and everything.

That was the fantasy, here's the reality: My date is taking place in a Starbucks, not a fine Italian restaurant. I've sipped my last sip - through a green straw. Boy oh boy is real life different from the movies.

There has been no Siddhartha-style burst of enlightenment. Instead I've got an empty plastic cup, a tongue numb from chewing ice, and a mind just as muddled as the day before. Yet, nonetheless, I have reached a conclusion:

I'm staying in LA, and I'm staying in the acting game.

Thanks to all of my readers for keeping me company on this journey.

Donovan And The Vast Ancient Conspiracy TRAILER NOW ONLINE!!!

No time for words, watch now!

Donovan and the Vast Ancient Conspiracy - Trailer from Gabriel Fleming on Vimeo.

Performing in Staged Reading of "Osama Been Laughing"

I'm hitting the boards for the first time in a long time as a petulant teen trapped in suburbia. Here's the show info:

Osama Been Laughing

by Jeremy Kehoe

A FIERCE BACKBONE STAGED READING

Directed by David Watkins Jr.

Produced by Amy Tofte & Stephen Blackburn

Featuring: Donovan Keith, Doug Burch, Drew McAuliffe, Lori Allen Thomas, Morris Nash & Sean Welch

WHEN
Sunday, 5/23/10 @ 2pm
Monday, 5/24/10 @ 8pm

WHERE
The Lounge Theatre
6201 Santa Monica Blvd.
Los Angeles, 90038

HOW
Online reservations:
https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dFF5ZEVlMDVuOWpWbmJQY0RMSEo5dUE6MQ
or call 310-201-0064

$10 Suggested donation
Industry comps available

OSAMA BEEN LAUGHING
Synopsis:
Collateral damage inflicted by Mary Leary’s terrorist-obsessed paranoid delusions...Mary spends her days glued to her telescope, scanning suburbia to rip the invisible terrorist weeds from her neighbors’ manicured lawns. She convinces herself there are Al Qaeda wanna-be’s in the neighborhood plotting the demise of western civilization. Can a conniving, pedophile priest be the one to convince her that her country's salvation rests solely on the sacrifice of her only son?


NEXT UP
What happened to the Wind in the Willows?

SAVING TOAD
by David Seidler
@ The Lounge Theatre
Sunday 6/6/10, 8pm
Monday 6/7/10, 8pm

About Fierce Backbone

Fierce Backbone is a 501(c)3 non-profit, collaborative organization of playwrights, actors and directors committed to developing new works for the stage. We understand that true development takes time, resources and a commitment to the creative process outside the pressure of producing live theater. We provide the environment for our writers to develop and mature their material through readings, scene work, improvisations, staged readings and workshop productions.

The Fierce Backbone Staged Reading Series & Workshop Productions

There are four plays in our 2010 Spring/Summer Staged Reading Series. Our first Staged Reading was Exit Laughing by Paul Elliott, which had 2 sold out performances May 7th & 8th. In 2009 we put up two workshop productions: the first, Cleo's Girls by Jan O'Connor, had a successful run of 6 performances in September 2009 at The Lex in Hollywood. Our second workshop production,Everything But by T.S. Cook, had a sold out run of 6 performances in December 2009 at The Secret Rose Theater in North Hollywood.

www.fiercebackbone.com

The Key To Productivity: Hate Your Work

I've only got 3 months until my August 1st, 2010 acting in Los Angeles "deadline". Realizing this, I entered a panic about what I have be doing with my time, and how I can maximize my remaining 3 months. I called up an old friend and lamented my slackerdom, begging for an explanation of how she avoids the siren song of the internet and instead burns the candle at both ends for months at a stretch. I've taken some liberties and translated her response into a credo of sorts:

Play your inner critic on full-blast. Allow yourself to believe that you're not good enough, that you're not doing enough, that you're falling behind. Live in a constant state of terror that everything you are doing will be laughed at and denigrated unless you work harder.

Given her laundry list of accomplishments, I knew it was an effective technique. But it was upsetting to think a person would do that to themselves. I didn't know if had it in me to live that way for the next 3 months.

So, for a different perspective, I called my productivity buddy Ilana and whined about my looming deadline and lack of work ethic. She cautioned me, saying "You can't set deadlines for success in an acting career, you don't deal those cards." To which I replied, "I know, I just don't feel like I'm working hard enough, and what I'm doing isn't good enough, I'm only:

• Attending weekly classes with Richard Seyd.
• Attending bi-monthly workshops at The Winner's Circle.
• Keeping up my improv chops at bi-monthly Groundlings classes.
• Going to 2+ Casting Director workshops each month.
• Co-Producing and Directing a short film that shoots in one week.
• Filming scenes from Donovan And The Vast Ancient Conspiracy.
• Rehearsing for and acting in a staged reading of a new play.
• Meeting bi-weekly for 3+hrs to write a screenplay for a feature film with my buddy Zak.
• Writing comedic monologues.
• Taking weekly voice lessons.
• Spending 30min/day 5 days a wk on craft (lines, cold reading practice, etc).
• Spending 30min/day 5 days a wk on marketing (mailers, thank you cards, submissions)."

And then I thought: Wait... that's actually a lot.

And then painfully I realized: That incredibly self-critical way of being that I wouldn't wish upon anyone... apparently I'm already living it, and have been for some time. I had no sense of how much I was doing because I was so good at telling myself it wasn't enough.

Self-criticism is a dangerously effective motivational tool, it can drive us to do superhuman amounts of work at our highest standard. However, it comes at a price: no matter how much we do, no matter how good our work, we'll never be able to fully appreciate our accomplishments; least of all while we're working towards them.

How to Keep a Notebook and Why You Should Keep a Notebook.

The premise of this post isn't rocket science, it's been espoused by writers, comics, and thinkers ever since paper and pen weren't novelties for the insanely rich. The idea is this:

Get a notebook, carry it with you, and write in it.

Answers to common notebook-writing questions:

Why should I keep a notebook?

Because Hemingway did. Not good enough? So did Picasso and Einstein. Still not good enough? You say you want a rationale? Okay, here you go:

To help you remember.

Unless you've got a touch of autism there's no hope of you remembering everything that has ever happened to you, more likely than not you've probably already forgotten plenty of important stuff. Forgetting a thing doesn't make it unimportant, it just makes it forgotten.

That hot guy/girl's phone number that you forgot? Yep that really could have been the love of your life. That brilliant idea for a joke/sketch/character/screenplay you had at coffee with friends? It's only brilliant if you can remember it long enough to write it.

What kind of notebook?

Any kind you want. If you want to be fancy buy moleskine. If you want to eat this month: buy composition books. They're about $2 a pop and hold words just fine.

What should I write in my notebook?

Anything. Everything. But closer to everything than anything if you can manage. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• A diary of the events in your life and how you feel about them.
• Notes from your acting classes.
• Ideas for jokes, plays, scenes, characters, businesses, inventions.
• Reviews of works that inspire you.
• Drawings & doodles.
• Clippings of images that inspire you (not technically "writing" but just as valid).
• Audition summaries: What went well? What didn't? Stop after listing 3 things from each category.
• Your dreams.

How often should I write in my notebook?

As often as you have semi-profound/funny thoughts or experiences. In the moment is best. Daily is great. Bi-weekly is totally doable. Weekly is a good starting point, and sporadically is better than not at all.

What should my entries look like?

There's no particular form. I like to date mine and give them a title so they're easier to flip through later.

What do I do when I fill up my notebook?

Date it and file it next to your last notebook. There's something wonderful about seeing an entire shelf of a bookcase filled with the stories of your life. Get a new notebook and begin the process again (I buy in bulk so I don't find myself without).

I've tried in the past but stopped.

Join the club. There will be times where you feel more inspired to write than others, often during a major life upheaval, take advantage of these times to get back in the habit.

Many people also stop because its impractical to always carry a notebook. Idea: buy a smaller notebook, or use your cell phone's "notes" feature to jot down ideas for you to explore at length in your paper journal at home.

What is the most important thing to do with my notebooks?

Reread your notebooks on a semi-regular basis. You'll notice patterns of behavior, moments of triumph, points of change, and you might find that certain passages or ideas really speak to you and demand further exploration. It can be a tremendous ego boost as an actor to see how much you struggled with something a few months ago that you now have a good handle on.

Donovan, why are you giving such stupid and obvious advice?

Because you've heard it a thousand times and you still don't keep a notebook.