How To Know What You Really Want To Do

I've got a lot of friends who go through life not knowing what they want to do. They go from job to job, relationship to relationship, party to party, and while they do have fun they often feel unfulfilled. I think this happens to folks (myself included) because we don't have a clear sense of purpose. Clarity of purpose can redefine a person's life.

But finding a purpose, let alone being clear about it, is easier said than done. I was talking with someone who suggested this test:

Imagine that money is no longer an issue. You've just won hundreds of millions of dollars in a lottery. What do you do?

The answer to that question will tell you a lot about what is truly important to you. You may not have millions in the bank, but how can you start living a life that is closer to that imagined ideal? You don't have to wait.

I'm Performing Tonight At The Groundlings! (Mon March 1st, 2010)

After two years of classes at The Groundlings, I'm finally performing on their main stage. I had my first performance last month, which went incredibly well. Now, based on a history of past success, I feel it's time to invite folks to come see me work.

It's a 90min all-improv show with hilarious upper level Groundlings students. I normally cringe at the prospect of attending a friend's improv show, but I assure you that the folks I'm working with are incredibly talented and funny.

Tickets are $6.50 and come with a free bottomless glass of wine.

Please come!

Show Information:

This month's show features performances by an all new cast of current upper-level Groundlingsstudents and directed by Kevin Kirkpatrick.

Student Showcases always bring in a massive crowd, so make sure you buy your tickets in advance!

Contact the Box Office at 323-934-4747 x37, or online at www.groundlings.com

Monday, March 1st at 8pm

Cast:

Andy Bray

Nate Clark

Phillip Daniel

Allison Dunbar

Christopher Eckert

Anderson Edwards

Conor Fetting-Smith

Samantha Roy

Adam Harrington

Donovan Keith

Mike Primiano

Sarah Wolter

Tickets are $6.50 and available NOW at the Box Office, or online at www.groundlings.com.

What A Greek Titan Taught Me About Work Ethic

My New Year's Resolution? I resolve to stop procrastinating... starting next week.

Funny right? I thought so. Until I looked down, saw that it was January 7, and that I had pulled one of those life-imitates-art moments.

Are you familiar with the myth of Atlas? He was a titan; the titans were this race of giants who lived in ancient Greece. Total badasses to the man. Atlas and his buds got bored and decided to start a war with the Gods of Mt. Olympus. It went surprisingly well until two titans defected to the other side; with their assistance the Gods laid a world of hurt on the titans for being so impetuous. The Gods had a habit of punishing those who had the gall to cross them. What did they do to Atlas? They threw him atop a mountain range, and had a conversation that went something like this...

Atlas: Ow! That hurt! You just threw me atop a mountain range. Not cool.

Gods: Shut up Atlas, we beat you fair and square, it's time for your cruel and unusual punishment.

Atlas: What?

Gods: You see those heavens over there?

Atlas: Yeah. What about 'em?

Gods: Pick 'em up.

Atlas: What? Are you crazy? That's impossible.

Gods: You heard us.

Atlas: Seriously? A black hole is wicked heavy! The heavens must way trillions of tons. Plus, I could totally burn my fingers on Super Novae!

Gods: Widdle baby Atwas finks de hehbuns is too heawy! Aww you gonna kwhy wittuh baby Atwas?!

Atlas: Fine. Fine. I'll pick 'em up.

So Atlas picks up the heavens, and rests them on his shoulders. They're just as heavy as he thought; heavier even. Aside from one break to go grab apples for Hercules, he's been carrying the heavens on his back ever since.

I don't imagine most people would envy Atlas. He's got an arduous job for which he is very rarely thanked; the rampant spread of monotheism really cut down on the number of goats sacrificed in his honor. But you know what? Crappy job or not, Atlas has a tremendous work ethic. Not once have I been crushed by the sky. The man just shows up and does his work, every day.

Acting for a living is way more fun than Atlas's job, heck so is my day job. So why is it Atlas is way more consistent about showing up to do his work? I've got some theories, but mostly it comes down to him being responsible for things greater than himself.

If I don't show up for my acting career, the only person who suffers is me. I don't have Atlas's advantage of having the entire world depending on me to do my job. I don't have a mountain full of pissed off Gods throwing lightning bolts at me whenever my motivation flags.

So how do you do it? How do you show up for yourself every day? How do you achieve that consistency? How do you make your career goals take precedence over what is comfortable?

These questions are not rhetorical.

Life Experience vs Acting Class

I've often said that a person who wants to be an actor would be better served by taking a cooking class than taking an acting class. Not because acting classes aren't valuable, but because increasing the breadth and depth of your life experience will have a much greater impact on the quality of your work than learning any particular technique. The difference in my work before and after my trip around the world is stupidly obvious. Good acting is less an invention from thin air than it is a reshuffling of self. Depending on the role: you play up certain parts of your personality and experience and you sublimate others. The more that's happened to you, the more you've felt, the more of yourself you've used to get through life, the greater your palette.

If any of what I've just written holds water, after this week is over I'm going to be a motherfucking artistic genius.

One of my great personal role models died earlier this week. She was a beautiful, kind, caring, and giving woman. The world is a little darker without her.

Two days later I was party to a decision making process that sent an 18 year old kid (and murderer) to prison for the rest of his life. If he's lucky he'll be 70 when he next tastes freedom. Good news: I believe the system can work. Bad news: We might have failed as a society.

Oh, and I learned to make latkes.

No doubt, when I someday play Hamlet, audiences will be riveted by my performance. Not because of my brilliant descent into madness, but because at some level they'll sense: at any moment this goy could start grating and frying potatoes. Oh vey!

You've Been Paid? You Are A Professional!

A blogging buddy of mine recently posted about her first big gig as a professional artist. She was gob smacked by the amount she was being paid. She then wrote the following line in reference to her website to promote her art:

The website will host all my “professional” (I had to put that in quotes because I feel like a douche using the word without them) work and clients can access which photos they want to purchase directly the site.

The following is a copy of my response to her post, adapted to suit an actor:

Dear Actor,

Congratulations on your paid acting gig! You are officially a professional actor, and you should not feel like a "douche" when describing yourself as such.

Clearly, you do work of a professional caliber. Others recognize this and are willing to pay you for it. But more important than others believing you should be paid for your work, is you believing you deserve to be paid for your work. Until you can believe that, you will be hesitant to offer your services as a *professional* actor. Just because the status is new doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Again, dear Actor, you are now a professional. You deliver professional-quality performances because you are a paid professional. You deserve to be compensated handsomely for your efforts, as any professional would be.

Here’s to great success in your endeavors and that this is the first of many such gigs! Best,

Donovan

Your work is only worth as much as you can convince someone else to pay you for it. If you can't even convince yourself you're a professional, what hope do you have of someone else seeing that value? The most important step towards a successful acting career is having a powerful champion of your work in your corner, someone who truly believes your work is good and that you deserve to be paid for it, that person is YOU.

Near Panic Attack Over Sitting Up Straight - Really? REALLY?

A few weeks ago I nearly had a panic attack during acting class because I was asked to sit up straight. Ok, it was a little more complicated than that, but somaticaly good posture is all that was requested.

Why was it so upsetting? What did that sitting up business represent?

Many of the introductory games in improv classes deal with status. My favorite involves the ultimate status competition: The High School Reunion. Everyone is dealt a card which sight unseen they place facing out on their foreheads. The players then begin to interact with each other based on the face value of the cards they see on other folks foreheads. Aces attract large crowds of admirers, while 2's and 3's end up as wall flowers along the periphery. Not unlike life.

From an audience perspective the most fun occurs when a character perceives their status to be significantly higher or lower than what is specified on their card. They move through life in a state of confusion, no one behaves in the manner they expect.

At some point in my life, I decided that the best way to attract women was to have a fantastic set of neuroses and insecurities. Women want projects and gosh darnit I was going to be a fixer upper. It seemed to work well for Woodie Allen in his films, so how could it go wrong for me? In my mind's eye I'm a 35ish, underweight, balding, funny-looking Jewish guy with poor eye-sight. In that improv game, I'm a 3 or a 4 of clubs taking cheap shots at the prom king from the sidelines.

I go through a lot of my life as that man, with all the emotional walls, bad posture, self-deprecating jokes, and accompanying existential crises. I even managed to attract a number of fantastic girlfriends (all of whom needed glasses and I imagine resented my glasses envy) - so the plan can't be wholly flawed.

So why a panic attack about sitting up straight? Asking me to sit up straight was asking me to look at the card on my forehead and live up to it. I was being asked to own all six feet of my height, all 20/20 of my vision, and worst of all - 100% of my opinions. As a self-perceived slouching outsider, it was easy - you can say anything you want without fear of conflict if your opinion isn't worth anything.

For better or worse the card I've been dealt lands somewhere closer to an Ace than a Deuce. That's what the camera sees, that's what casting sees, and that's what I'll be asked to play. It's about time I sat up straight and played my hand.

I Finally Passed Groundlings Level II!

I hadn't failed a class since my wannabe stoner phase in middle school. Then I enrolled in Groundlings Level II. I first took it with Kevin Kirkpatrick and was asked to repeat it. Then I took it with Karen Maruyama, and she asked me to repeat it again. 13 weeks ago, I enrolled in Groundlings Level II for a third time, again with Karen.

I am a person who has little tolerance for failure. I'm the worst version of myself when I'm in a situation where I am being asked to do something I don't know how to do. I get very easily frustrated, I loudly crack bad jokes (yes louder and less funny than usual), I pout, and I get short with other people.

If stuck in an uncomfortable situation for a long period of time, I go catatonic. I shroud myself in a hooded sweatshirt, cross my legs over themselves about 8 times and hug myself while slouching severely to one side - in my efforts to disappear I look more conspicuous than a day-glow Unabomber.

Halfway through the last class of the session I was absolutely convinced I had not passed, that I was destined be a Groundlings washout. I was bound and determined to go cry in the bathroom so that it wouldn't slip out in class, but somehow I managed to keep myself together, and got to see my classmates do some fantastic and hilarious work.

Which is why I'm so happy and surprised to announce: I've finally passed Groundlings Level II!

Thankfully I'm in good company: Jennifer Coolidge had to repeat Groundlings Basic three times before she was advanced to Level II, and she did terrible spacework just like me!

Next project: get ready for Groundlings Lab, we're only allowed one crack at it.

Meta project: start to believe in my abilities as an actor, even if it takes hypnotism or overt self-delusion; this doubt is undermining everything I'm pursuing.