“Oh, so you wait tables for a living?” - The Survival Job

Almost without fail, when someone asks what I do and I say "I'm an actor", I get one of two responses:

1. Oh really?! My cousin/uncle/brother/coworker is an actor too! Do you know ______?
   
2. Oh. So I guess that makes you a waiter, huh?
   

I don't tend to mind response number one. But response number two can become a little grating. It's usually said to get a laugh, but there is often a sense of condescension in the statement. But then again, maybe I felt it was condescending because I didn't have a proper response outside of "actually, I'm unemployed for the moment. But, I'm doing some freelance work when I can."

I've been dipping into savings each month that I've been down here to pay rent and my credit card bills (darn you frequent flyer mile incentives!). Knowing that I wasn't actually pulling my own weight, my sub-conscious sent me into a malaise in all aspects of my life outside of acting as a punishment. It's just taken me this long to get my procrastinating butt into gear.

Working as a Substitute Teacher
Today (10/16) I decided to set matters straight and drove down to the LA Unified School District central office. It's a 40 story high-rise in downtown LA and it makes my last district seem like some serious small fries by comparison. Despite being large enough that it could have been a bureaucratic nightmare, the employees were all chipper enough that it seemed to move pretty efficiently. However, I feel this has less to do with it actually running quickly and more to do with the Zen mentality about waiting that LA traffic has forced upon me.

As I sat down to wait for my number to be called, I overheard another applicant mention ACT (American Conservatory Theater in SF). When I piped up and said that I had attended ACT, I quickly discovered that 4 of the 7 people waiting to be called were actors. I guess substitute teaching is a pretty popular gig.

UPDATE (10/18): LA Unified IS a bureaucratic nightmare.

After my first trip on Monday, I began going down the checklist of what I needed to bring in to them after my initial interview.

I started by driving to the Hollywood Health Center, a small doctor's office that seems to specialize in physicals and TB tests for LA Unified employees. A visit to the doctor and one test ran me $90 without health insurance. Not terrible, but certainly not ideal. The following day I went to the Social Security Administration and got a replacement card.

For fear of subjecting you to the same boredom that was my experience, I will summarize. I went back to LA Unified. Four hours, four initials, and two official stamps later I was done. But I have to go back for further processing once my fingerprints prove me to be innocent.

Benefits of the Waiting Room

The best thing about waiting around and filling out redundant forms is getting to meet some interesting folks. Whilst waiting for a signature on one of my health forms, I met a gentleman who took issue with the Halloween decorations up on the receptionist's desk.

MAN: I'm surprised they can get away with having that religious holiday in here.
ME: I don't think of Halloween as being particularly religious at this point.
MAN: Oh it's religious alright. It's a holiday for devil-worshipers.
ME: I just think of it as an excuse to dress up.
MAN: And praise the devil… I heard that scientists hit salt water with sonic waves and it made sparks. They're saying that could make electricity for everyone.
(Donovan stares furiously at his book and listens to his iPod)