I Do My Own Stunts

After watching the horror movie "Room 1308" with me and witnessing my hours long panic attack that followed, my good friend Chandra dubbed me a "cryin' ass little bitch." This should give some indication as to the level of my adventurousness and capacity for risk taking.

When Gabriel and I meet people in our travels and try to explain the film, the conversation goes something like this.

PERSON
So what is the film about?

DONOVAN
It's like Indiana Jones if Indiana Jones was a total wuss.

GABRIEL
That's not how it was written... But that's what it became once I cast Donovan.

Knowing all that, you and I are both surprised to find that I'm doing all my own stunts. So far I have:

• Ridden on the back of a motorcycle at high speeds without a helmet over bumpy and muddy terrain at night.
• Ridden on the back of a skooter in the rain dodging in and out of traffic and through narrow alleys full of people, dogs, and cats.
• Crossed incredibly busy streets in Vietnam without looking as much as a prudent person would - about 50 times.
• Crossed a river with semi-rapid waters that reached my underwear - in the middle of the night never having seen it during the day.
• Slid down a muddy jungle path on my butt, limbs akimbo.

To be fair, Gabriel is the Ginger Rogers to my Fred Astaire. He has to do all the same stuff except backwards and with a camera in his hand.

While the above list of stunts might make you question why the word "stunts" wasn't surrounded in question marks of irony - it's not a bad list of accomplishments for a cryin' ass little bitch.